The first thing that struck me as not only strange but incredibly disrespectful, was the fact that no men were allowed ON THE PREMISES during the party. Seeing as though we hadn't been informed of this, the result was my man being told (rudely and in NO uncertain terms) to leave his own house. This was an awkward start to the party, as he was planning on working downstairs while we women did our thing. But according to the woman running the party she would lose her license if my guy stayed. Let me say this: Yes, I find it offensive that he is kicked out of his own house with no notice, and RUDELY. He was not asked nicely. He was told to go, or else the party would not go on. But on a deeper and impersonal level, I find this totally disrespectful to ALL men. The official 'women only' policy for this particular company suggests to me that men are seen as some sort of threat. I find that totally degrading, not only to the men, but to the women who are connected to them. Especially when these parties are aimed at partnered women.
And the party itself…? It began with a quick quiz; 'Are you a sexpert?' Well, yes I am… And because I am I saw many flaws in her attempt to 'educate'. The series of True or False statements were not to educate, rather they were constructed so that the Party Lady could try and convince these women that they NEEDED her products. The first statement: 'Women should have 200 orgasms a year'. Primarily, there are no 'shoulds'. Yes, cumming regularly is good for your psyche, your cardio, your hormone levels, but to suggest there is a number of orgasms that 'should' be had on an annual level is just irresponsible. We all know the female orgasm is a tricky beast - why put more pressure on that with more standards and 'shoulds' to uphold? When I questioned her on this, she mentioned that 'science backs it up'. Okay… but science can back up anything if you Google for long enough. And laughing is supposedly one of the best things you can do for your cardio and mental health… But I guess her non-existent sense of humour prevented her from knowing this. :P
The other statement worth mentioning here is 'Men prefer women in lingerie'. Hmmm… Yes, they like/love it… but 'prefer'…? I would have said 'false' just to argue with her further, but my competitive spirit forced me to give the answer I knew she would think is 'right'… and seeing as though she was going to try and SELL us lingerie, of course she would want us to think that's what our men need. I circled 'true'. This was where I realised without a doubt, that this section was more a marketing campaign than the 'education' she presented it as. Again, I find this somewhat conniving and manipulative and totally opposed to what I see as sex-positive information.
The American-Australian monetary exchange rate is pretty much even at the moment, and many of the products she had were identical to my stock back home - even the same brands… So then WHY on earth did I see things that were twice our RETAIL price at this party? Not many things… and some of her pricing was quite reasonable, but just WOW at the $160 door swing. I could save people a good $60 by selling it to them at our retail price and paying postage from Australia to the USA! That said, there were several products I saw that were cheaper than the same thing in other Adult Shops I've been to here.
I could also tell you about the pheromone lotions she had… and how she always wears them to meetings with clients and how they make her so attractive. A friend asked if she was wearing them to this particular party, to which the answer was 'Yes'… I laughed out loud at that. The only man in the house who had anything to do with her found her totally unattractive and was not inspired in any way to feel anything nice towards her. Pheromone fail…
Now, to you people in couples reading this… Sex Toy parties CAN be fun, and with the right facilitator they can be brilliant. But I would not suggest taking them at all seriously. They can be a great starting point; a relaxed way to see some things you may not have seen before, but be aware the companies that run them are basically a form of pyramid scheme… The money flows up and up and up. The people at the top have little care for your relationship or whether their products are successful. When looking at the terms of service for this particular group, my guy noticed that there are absolutely NO refunds due to the 'personal' nature of the product. This means that even if it comes to you and doesn't even work, or is broken, that's too bad. This isn't uncommon with Adult Toys, however responsible business owners will be clear about this at point of sale. They will not expect you to trawl their website looking at the small print. There was zero mention of this at the actual party. We only came across this serendipitously.
Sex toys can be a brilliant enhancement to your sex life, in a myriad of ways. For those people wanting to explore anal but are worried if they can take it, small vibrators and anal beads can be a great place to start. Perhaps you're interested in squirting but can't get the right reach with fingers or dick - there are definitely toys that can help. You like giving or receiving hand jobs, but want an extra element…? Yep, that can be covered too. But any healthy sexual relationship NEEDS great communication. It's a partnership. This is why I believe shopping as individuals can defeat the purpose. Sure, once you're established shoppers and have some idea of what your partner likes, a surprise toy can be great. There are so many online stores where couples can sit together and giggle while deciding what may work for them… It's great research.
But there is something to be said for venturing into a store together and gauging reactions. It can be a fantastic adventure, and fun foreplay in it's own right. And I'm sure you will find most salespeople are more than happy to answer any and all questions, and assist in any way. This personal service can be absolutely invaluable - and seeing as though few of them are being paid on commission, they are less likely to sell you crap you really don't need. In my experience, the people that chose to work in that environment are open-minded and non-judgemental and happy to establish a good working relationship with their clientele. We want you to return to our stores!
I am always encouraging couples to 'play'; it's one of the most important aspects of my work. Being playful definitely lets you explore your boundaries, and maybe even discover things about each other you never knew existed. But like any other aspect, you need to TALK about it. You need to be on the same page. That's what being in a great relationship is all about, right?